I feel like Carmen Sandiego...

OK, gumshoes! Notorious gangster Franni Paley has escaped from her hide-out in Dragør and we have been chasing her across the globe! Here are some clues to here whereabouts...

Location #1

Franni was spotted...

Wandering down wide boulevards and narrow alleys of a northern European capital city, paying close attention to the spots where cobblestones become cobblerocks. She then visited a museum dedicated to a notorious Viking ship that sank after only 20 minutes after leaving the dock. Turns out, the beautifully elaborate carvings were too concentrated on the top of the boat and there wasn't enough weight on the bottom. Thing tipped over and sank like a stone - only to be lifted from the depths 300 years later - 100% intact. Amazing. One of the coolest things she has ever seen. Next came a visit to an international school in the British style ("jolly phonics!"), a charming supper in a funky underground cafe, and the most intense game of Egyptian Rat Screw since the CAAP smackdown of '02. She fled the city after visiting a Reggio Emilia preschool that she found extremely suspicious. More on that later.

Can you guess where she was?

Stockholm, Sweden!

Location #2

Franni was spotted...

Eating her weight in buffet food, taking in a cheesy Vegas-style show, pillaging the duty-free store and fending off the advances of creepy Turkish futbol hooligans who decided to (literally) sweep her off her feet and carry her away from the group - caveman style.

Can you guess where she was?

Creepshow City?

No, but close...

Booze Cruise on the Baltic Sea!

Location #3

Franni was spotted...

In an amazingly well-preserved Medieval city, the capital of a country most Americans have never heard of. She enjoyed the quaint architecture and quirky statues, and haggling with old Russian women at the wool market. Her gastronomic experiences were diverse: She drank the richest and most amazing hot chocolate in the cutest cafes, savored an authentic Medieval feast and ate antelope (though not all at the same time. That would be weird.). She learned Russian songs with 6 year-olds at a Waldorf School (as well as participated in a circle dance that involved grabbing each other's ears and noses - Oleg, please explain?) and observed the sketchiest Soviet kindergarten ever. Her accomplice? A woman from Trinidad, educated in Denmark, who married a Russian and moved to Estonia - and is one of the most fascinating people she has ever met. Then she listened to the "Love Song of a Migratory Bird."

Can you guess where she was?

Talinn, Estonia!

Location #4

After resting for a night in Copenhagen, she hopped a plane to a much more famous European city. Here, she was reunited with one of her most notorious henchmen (alias: Carrot Boy). She ate a three-course meal, partied with local students and had her breath taken away by one of the most famous cathedrals by moonlight.

Next she played 'princess' in a palace that no photo will ever do justice. However, the palace was taken captive by the dastardly Jeff Koons, which made the whole situation rather absurd. She then ate a nutella-banana crepe on the steps in front of Sacre-Coeur and fended off the advances of an over-eager business student from Tunisia who felt compelled to tell her his life story - only after making sure she was over 18 (Him: "in this country, it is illegal to do things with girl under 18, you understand?" Me: "oh, you don't have to worry. I'm over 18 and those things are never going to happen to you." Yet he still didn't get the hint. Even after I told him I was leaving to see my extremely jealous boyfriend, he tried to get my number.) After dark, she enjoyed the streets crammed with artists and tourists and music and energy and life... then some wonderful conversation with fellow world-travelers (!!!) from Australia, New Zealand, Austria, South Africa, etc...

The following day, David and I (3rd person is exhausting. Game over, gumshoes, I was in Paris.) went inside Notre Dame, picnicked in front of Sacre-Coeur, then walked along the Seine and picked out the houseboat we will retire on (classic sailboat, maybe with a garden on top?). We climbed up the Eiffel Tower and I made friends with a couple of little French boys who heard my speaking in English and declared, "I love American!" David left for class, and I walked back to Place de la Concorde, then along the Champs-Elysees to the Arc de Triomphe and back again. Another amazing meal followed at Le Polidor (sp?), where I learned how to drink wine like a real connoisseur.

Tuesday we went to the Musee d'Orsay for a Picasso/Manet exhibit, but stayed for the Impressionist, Post-Impressionist and Art Nouveau collections, as well as an exhibit about masks and another AMAZING feature on pastels. A girl from the hostel and I went to Cacao et Chocolat for the best hot chocolate in Paris, and then I met up with David and Papa Bear for another traditional French dinner. I had my first Parisian creme brulee. Life is good. We hit a jazz club afterward for amateur night - read: drunk American girls over-singing old Barbara Streisand songs - and almost got trapped in Gare du Nord. Not a place I would ever want to get trapped alone. Ever.

Wednesday David was at his internship at a cheese shop, so I was on my own for the morning. I went to a children's book exhibit at the Bibliotheque Francois Mitterand, which was super interesting and, oh yeah, entirely in French. I understood 90% of the information, mostly because it was geared toward children and their parents, but I was still pretty proud of myself. Also, I rediscovered "Where the Wild Things Are" (French title: Max et les Maximonstres). After that, I went to the happiest place on Earth: the French Cinematheque. I played with a zoetrope and watched "Serpentine Dance" the way Edison intended. There was a Melies exhibit with costumes and props from "A Trip to the Moon" and a really baller Dennis Hopper feature. Supper was with David's host family and the conversation? You guessed it - completement en francais. I think I held my own, though - merci beaucoup, Madame Minkoff! We then went walking around Monmartre and David was very sweet to indulge my flouncing about (I kind of forgot that I'm not really living in a 1950s musical or Truffaut film. Oops.). We got coffee at Amelie's cafe and stopped by the Moulin Rouge and Le Chat Noir. It was deliriously wonderful. 

Before I left, we went to Le Marais for the best falafel outside of Israel (ah.may.zing.) and I bought some challah from a kosher bakery because I really missed the stuff. Leaving Paris was really hard - as difficult as boarding the plane away from Israel. But I'll go back. I just have to.

But one day at a time, right? And tomorrow... I'm going to Russia!